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The Life and Times of Willie No-Frills
A Monroe Productions Production
Created on 2002-06-30 20:34:27 (#613374), last updated 2006-12-28
356 comments received, 248 comments posted
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85 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Willie No-Frills |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 03-07 |
| Location: | Jacksonville, Florida, United States |
BioI'm a native Nebraskan, but have lived in Florida for a couple years now. I wasn't an official Floridian, though, until about a month ago, when my Nebraska license plates finally expired.
"The time has come," I said to my roommate, Craig. He nodded solemnly, and rolled his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking.
I took a three-hour vacation from work and trekked to the DMV to get my shiny new Florida plates (or "tags" as we say here in the South). I turned down the Save the Manatee plate and went with the El Cheapo generic model. One hundred-eighty-nine dollars later, the transformation was complete.
Immediately thereafter, I went to my official Florida Induction Ceremony, held at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on Normandy Boulevard. Fred Durst was there, as well as some of the Jaguars, Jonny Van Zant, and an old man that I think may have been Boss Hogg. The mayor presented me with the key to the city, which by bizarre coincidence also fits into the ignition of a rusted-out camaro in the parking lot.
Now my days are spent immersing myself in Southern culture. I am fascinated by your "y'all," your "grits," your "sweet tea." I now realize that I have spent my life mispronouncing everyday words, not realizing that it is PO-lice and GIT-tar, i.e. "Boy, if'n you don't turn that damn GIT-tar down, I'm'a gonna hafta call the PO-lice!
My Husker red has been put aside in favor of the multi-colored NASCAR logo and a confederate flag t-shirt that says "Keep it Flyin'!"
"The time has come," I said to my roommate, Craig. He nodded solemnly, and rolled his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking.
I took a three-hour vacation from work and trekked to the DMV to get my shiny new Florida plates (or "tags" as we say here in the South). I turned down the Save the Manatee plate and went with the El Cheapo generic model. One hundred-eighty-nine dollars later, the transformation was complete.
Immediately thereafter, I went to my official Florida Induction Ceremony, held at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on Normandy Boulevard. Fred Durst was there, as well as some of the Jaguars, Jonny Van Zant, and an old man that I think may have been Boss Hogg. The mayor presented me with the key to the city, which by bizarre coincidence also fits into the ignition of a rusted-out camaro in the parking lot.
Now my days are spent immersing myself in Southern culture. I am fascinated by your "y'all," your "grits," your "sweet tea." I now realize that I have spent my life mispronouncing everyday words, not realizing that it is PO-lice and GIT-tar, i.e. "Boy, if'n you don't turn that damn GIT-tar down, I'm'a gonna hafta call the PO-lice!
My Husker red has been put aside in favor of the multi-colored NASCAR logo and a confederate flag t-shirt that says "Keep it Flyin'!"
ConnectInterests (40):
80's, bad puns, beer, ben folds, big lebowski, bloody marys, brevity, bright eyes, coen brothers, dodging questions, dragonball z, fiction, free stuff, garrison keillor, guitars, inscrutability, iron mountain, led zeppelin, long island iced tea, matthew sweet, mountain dew, movies, nebraska football, pink floyd, radiohead, rock and roll, spaghetti, square, steely dan, the apocalypse, the faint, the police, the simpsons, theology, thrift stores, tom robbins, u2, vegeta, words, writing
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